Those were the words used by U.S. forward Charlie Davies to describe how he felt after learning that Sochaux President Alexandre Lacombe had written a letter to U.S. head coach Bob Bradley to say that Davies was not medically cleared by the club's doctors to return to play.
According to Davies, that letter was one of the biggest reasons he was omitted from the preliminary 30-man U.S. roster.
"Bob Bradley called me the night before the selection was put out to the press," Davies said. "He explained to me that Sochaux sent a letter saying they were not going to clear me medically and wouldn't release me to go with the national team. And that this had a big part to play in not being able to select me.
"I'm very angry because I feel FC Sochaux has denied me a chance at playing in the World Cup," Davies said. "Of course I'm not at 100 percent now but I feel that by the time our World Cup camp starts next week I would be at a level where I can compete for one of the forward spots.
"By the first game against England, I feel I would be able to be at 100 percent and really contribute for the national team," Davies said. "So for me not being able to get a chance is very painful."
Now I fully believe that Sochaux had Davies best interests at heart. From all the news that's been out there, granted put out by the French side, Davies has struggled to regain his endurance - something that really cannot be overlooked.
That to me more than any other has been the worst symptom he has shown in the recovery process because bones and ligament tears will heel over time, but overcoming a ruptured bladder and bleeding on the brain are whole other matters - you can't mess around with that stuff.
Obviously Davies wanted to return for the World Cup, it would be a potential showcase for him after his star turn in the Confederations Cup last summer. But at what cost would it have been, can you imagine if he collapsed and died on the pitch at the World Cup. Not to sound overly dramatic, but we're dealing with a case where the guy literally should have died in the car accident last October that produced these photos, and his projected recovery was closer to a year than the 8 months it has taken him to get to this point.
Sitting here in my "Don't Tread On Me" U.S. sweatshirt, I wanted to see Davies on the pitch as much as any other U.S. fan - we don't seem to have a credible No. 2 forward to link up with Jozy Altidore in our lineup. But I think Sochaux made the right decision to hold him back.
Davies will be back, he has come a long way, and hopefully this will just motivate him even more.
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