The Carlos Tevez All-Stars

So after watching Manchester City this past weekend I realized it would be pretty funny to put together a list of the ugliest/goofiest looking players in professional football today. These guys are the anti-David Beckhams - sorry ladies he won't be showing his pretty-boy face at at the upcoming World Cup - but you will be able to see many of these handsome devils in South Africa.

City has a few of the biggest bozos going with Carlos Tevez heading the list. He looks

between a mongoloid and the villain from the James Bond movie "License to Kill" - actor Robert Davi.

It's not just that Tevez was badly burned by boiling water on his neck and chest, the guy looks like someone that has been in one too many brawls and perhaps a few knife fights on the streets of his hometown Ciudadela in Argentina. Add that to the fact that he often wears one of those bozo girlie plastic hair head-bands to hold his hair in place during games and you have one of the ultimate ugly individuals in the game today.

Here are few more Tevez pics for you to gawk at:

The next guy off the Manchester City roster that is also a total weirdo is England international Joleon Lescott. Like Tevez I feel a little guilty making fun of the guy because when he was 5-years-old he was hit by a car outside his school, dragged down the street, and suffered serious head injuries which is what you see today. But the guy just signed five-year contract with the richest club in the world last August after being sold by Everton for an estimated £22-£24 million. Clearly the guy could afford to have plastic surgery fix the scar on his head or the weird looking line going through his hair-line on his forehead.

To me he looks like a cross between famous model Grace Jones (by the way is a woman) who played May Day, another sinister villain in the James Bond series from "A View to Kill" - and any number of a few Star Trek alien characters including this beaut to the right here.

Here is one more Lescott photo to enjoy:

Last on the list of City lovelies is the Hunchback of Notre Dame - I mean Welsh international Craig Bellamy.

Bellamy is a world-class bozo famous for both his rows with coaches, teammates and fans. In 2004 he threw a chair at his Newcastle boss John Carver, sent bitter text message to Newcastle captain Alan Shearer when on loan to Celtic, allegedly attack Liverpool teammate John Arne Risse with a golf club in 2007, and several other huge bust-ups.

Of course if my body was that disproportioned I would probably be pretty angry as well and have an explosive temper as well.

Here is one last picture of Man City's top bozo: