If there's one secret weapon to avoiding relegation in the English Premier League, it has to be signing a heavy-drinking, mercurial and possibly over-the-hill striker.
At least that's the wacky formula dreamed up by West Ham today as they agreed to sign Robbie Keane away from Tottenham. Keane signed a 4.5 year deal with the Hammers but that's contingent on them not being relegated.
West Ham will pay a fee of £5 million for Keane, providing the Premier League's bottom club survive the drop.
The 30-year-old has agreed a two-and a half year contract guaranteed plus an option in the club's favour to take up for a further two years. West Ham are showing enormous faith in the striker, who could be at his last club in the top flight in English football if he sees out the total years on the deal.
In addition, the Hammers have agreed to pay Spurs a £1 million loan fee for the rest of the season, and the deal has gone through just as ESPNsoccernet has been predicting throughout the transfer window after a £4 million move to Birmingham collapsed.
Finally, the Hammers will pick up Keane's £65,000-a-week wages, which makes it a huge investment in the Republic of Ireland international - but well worth it if they stay up. A West Ham insider confirmed: "The deal becomes permanent only if the club stay up."
West Ham have made four signings, and they now have 27 players and would like to sell or loan out two on the final day of the transfer window.
Manager Avram Grant said: "He (Keane) is not just a good player, he is a good character that we need in the next 14 games.''
West Ham co-owner David Gold told BBC Sport: "We're delighted to sign a world-class striker. Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy drives a hard bargain but we've got our man.''
Keane told his new club's official website: ''I am ready to help West Ham stay in the Premier League, which is the most important thing for this club. I am really pleased to have signed and now I just can't wait to start training and playing football.
"I feel as fit as I ever have done in my life and I feel I have plenty left to offer at the highest level for at least the next four or five years. I want to help anywhere I can help the football club, whether that is in training, in the dressing room or on the pitch on a matchday. We have some good players here and I am sure we can stay up.
"When I went on loan to Celtic I scored 17 goals in 19 games and if I can do even half as well as I did there, then I'll be happy.''
He could make his debut in Wednesday's match at Blackpool.
Clearly, Keane is not the answer but West Ham is hoping that he can catch lightning in a bottle (no pun intended) and help them gain some points. It won't take long to figure out if this abrupt marriage will work or flame out.
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