I don't really feel like I should have to explain this but when I made this list, it had nothing to do with making fun of other countries and cultures; it's simply to point out some fun, different names that we don't find here in Suburbs, USA.
Basically, all I did was scan the squads for each team and if a name jumped off the page, bingo you've made it. I'm sure I missed some hilarious ones but only being fluent in English with a touch of Spanish from high school and college means that I can't pronounce a good amount of them.
That is all, enjoy.
Juan Sebastian Veron, Argentina, midfielder: I'm a big fan of people that use their full three names and the fact that Veron looks like a pirate only makes his inclusion more of a shoe-in.
Nikita Rukavytsya, Australia, forward: Anything that reminds me of La Femme Nikita, a terrible show on USA in the late 90s that always followed Monday Night Raw is a good thing.
Juan, Brazil, defender: You knew a Brazilian with one name was a given right? Brazilians are famous for their smokeshow women, their unique style of soccer and soccer stars that have one name.
Gaetan Bong, Cameroon, defender: Who doesn't love a cheap joke about stoners? If only they knew there was a guy on Cameroon with the last name Bong, his jersey would be a top seller to readers of High Times and Cheech and Chong fans.
Lars Jacobson, Denmark, defender: A completely badass name that must make Danish women faint when they hear it.
Andre-Pierre Gignac, France, forward: On the opposite end of the spectrum is this name, which might be the most feminine in the whole field. Sounds like someone that drives a taxi in Paris.
Hans Jorg Butt, Germany, goalkeeper: In comedy, sometimes the most juvenile things will always make you chuckle regardless of how old you might be.
Holger Badstuber, Germany, defender: You just had to know the Germans would come through of plenty names that were right out of Beerfest, that delightfully average movie that you can find on HBO any night at 2 a.m.
Prince Tagoe, Ghana, forward: Who knew royalty was playing in the 2010 World Cup?
Sokratis Papastathopoulos, Greece, defender: Leave it to the Greeks to give us a name that's not only the longest in the tournament but larger than life.
Georgie Welcome, Honduras, forward: What's worse, to be a grown man named Georgie or have a last name Welcome that is surely the brunt of a million lame jokes to everyone he meets?
Gianluigi Buffon, Italy, goalkeeper: Sadly his brother Gianmario never made it out of the castle after he tried to rescue the princess for the millionth time.
Brou Angoua, Ivory Coast, defender: If Brou's first name is pronounced like I hope, he'll be the favorite player of the Jersey Shore, Long Island and any other place habitated by bros.
Daisuke Matsui, Japan, midfielder: The lovechild of Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka and Angels DH Hideki Matsui.
Francisco Rodriguez, Mexico, defender: Took a break from the going-nowhere Mets to play for his new home country.
Adolfo Bautista, Mexico, forward: Fat bozo from the Toucher and Rich radio show in Boston took a month-long vacation.
Andre Ooijer, Netherlands, defender: Sounds more like a shady club owner you'd meet in Amsterdam.
Tommy Smith, New Zealand, defender: Outstanding ESPN soccer commentator (Tommy Smyth) and little Irishman changes nationalities for a month since the Irish got screwed out of the tournament by the French.
Tim Brown, New Zealand, midfielder: Former standout wide receiver at Notre Dame and for the Raiders proves he's multi-talented.
Danny Shittu, Nigeria, defender: Again, just a brutal named to grow up with. Poor Mrs. Shittu.
Hong Yong-Jo, North Korea, forward: Maybe my favorite name I've stumbled across thus far.
Ricardo Costa, Portugal, defender: Gotta rep my heritage here, this is my first name in Spanish with my great grandmother's maiden name. If I was smarter, I already would have this jersey.
Danny, Portugal, forward: Brazil isn't the only team that can do the one name right.
Miso Brecko, Slovenia, defender: Insert tired me so horny joke here.
Surprise Moriri, South Africa, midfielder: Classic name for the host country.
MacBeth Sibaya, South Africa, midfielder: From beyond the grave Shakespeare gives this name two dead thumbs up.
Cha Du-Ri, South Korea, defender: Three names, seven letters, outstanding.
Kim Dong-Jin, South Korea, defender: It wouldn't be a quality list without a penis reference somewhere in here.
Kim Bo-Kyung, South Korea, midfielder: Noted bum fighter Kimbo Slice's favorite player.
Kim Jung-Woo, South Korea, midfielder: Ric Flair's favorite player.
Lee Dong-Gook, South Korea, forward: It's probably a good thing, especially in this case that hillbillies don't watch soccer.
Joan Capdevila, Spain, defender: Are we sure this is a dude?
Pedro, Spain, midfielder: Napolean Dynamite references are not cool anymore right? Moving on.
Tranquillo Barnetta, Switzerland, midfielder: Making elementary students of Spanish laugh every time.
Herculez Gomez, USA, forward: I'm biased because I just talked the guy a few weeks ago at the US-Czech Republic match but you can't make a name like that up.
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