Help wanted: Ivory Coast looking for a new coach

It doesn't make me feel any better since I wanted the team to do well above all but can I receive some credit for correctly predicting that Sven-Goran Eriksson would be a complete flop for Ivory Coast?

It was no surprise that this bumbling fool managed to screw up the Elephants completely at the 2010 World Cup, as they played terribly on their home continent. Now comes word that he is moving on because they can't afford him?

What planet am I on? Is this real life? Nobody gets a free pass like Erikkson and this is further proof that he has dirty pictures/secrets on everyone in soccer. How does he keep getting cushy jobs? I'll never understand it.

Ivory Coast has given up hope of keeping Sven-Goran Eriksson as coach, and the president of the country's governing body says a replacement will be announced by next week.

Sory Diabate says the federation wanted Eriksson to continue even after an unsuccessful World Cup, but financial negotiations to renew his contract broke down.

In an interview posted on the federation website, Diabate said a new coach will be announced before an Aug. 10 exhibition against Italy in London.

Diabate said that "indeed, Eriksson will not be the next coach of the Elephants. He was the very first choice, but the negotiations did not succeed."

Eriksson's contract expired after the World Cup, where Ivory Coast was eliminated in the first round.

But hey, the bottom line is he's sent packing and maybe now the Ivory Coast can get back untracked.

This is all your fault Sven, you hopeless loser

Like most professional sports (other than football), I don't think being a soccer coach for a big club or country really makes a difference either way. It's all about how much talent you have, who's healthy and who's on form. With that said, go back and look when Ivory Coast announced Sven-Goran Eriksson was their new head coach. I hated the move then and I hate it now since the Elephants are going home early.

Eriksson didn't make obvious tactical or substitution mistakes and he wasn't on the field for his team's lifeless 0-0 opening draw vs. Portugal but I'll still make him the scapegoat for this team because he's never won anything in his life and yet he continues to get cushy jobs (England, Mexico, Ivory Coast and next maybe Fulham).

Ivory Coast

Best Moment: Didier Drogba, the face of the nation, suited up and played even though he broke his arm a few weeks before the tournament. He wasn't up to his usual high-level of play but just the fact that he sacked up and was out there had to be inspiring for the Elephants.

Worst Moment: Getting down 3-1 to Brazil. That game basically would make or break their 2010 World Cup and they never showed up.

Best Result: The win over North Korea, their only three points of the tournament.

Worst Result: I'll go with the opening scoreless draw with Portugal. Obviously, as I said the loss to Brazil was more costly but in terms of setting the tone, the match vs. Portugal showed that Ivory Coast was in big trouble. They failed to get anything started and they seemed to play scared which is never good.

Final Tally: 1 win, 1 tie, 1 loss; 4 goals scored, 3 goals conceded.

Best Player: Midfielder Yaya Toure had a goal and an assist and was a force in the center of the field for all three games. No surprise if you watch him do his thing for Barcelona.

Worst Player: It's not really fair to him since his defense left him out to dry but goalkeeper Boubacar Barry (outstanding name) gave up the three fatal goals to Brazil so he earns this mark.

Last Ivory Coast sub of the 2010 World Cup

Seydou Doumbia came on for Romaric. There are rumors that Sven-Goran Eriksson will be replace Roy Hodgson as the Fulham manager. And I just puked in my mouth.

Is this real life?

From the You've Gotta Be Kidding Me department, Ivory Coast finally figured out who would manage them at the World Cup this summer and their choice is whom Shimer would call a Uberbozo: Sven-Goran Erikkson.

Last seen leaving Mexico City in the dead of night when he had the Mexicans poised to fail in qualification for the 2010 World Cup, the former English coach has once again landed on his feet with a cake job with one of the real contenders (that nobody talks about) this summer.

This baffling hire is good news for the rest of Group G: Brazil, Portugal and North Korea and the remaining 28 teams in the 2010 World Cup. If there's anything that this Swedish clown knows how to do, it's messing up a team with loads of talent. He did it in England, he did it in Mexico and no doubt he'll do it in South Africa with my beloved Elephants.

It's hard to screw up with a team as talented as Ivory Coast with studs like Didier Drogba (Chelsea striker), Kolo Toure (Manchester City defender), Emmanuel Eboue (Arsenal midfielder) and Salomon Kalou (Chelsea striker) in your dressing room but I'm confident that Erikkson will somehow find a way.

This all begs the question: how do worthless managers like this keep finding cushy jobs? I'm obviously in the wrong field.