(spits out lager) Rooney signs 5-year extension with Man. U?

The latest development in the neverending drama with Wayne Rooney is perhaps the most surprising twist: after bashing Manchester United and showing every indication that he was on the next jet out of town, he signed a 5-year extension to remain there until June 2015.

Haha, what?

Only days after announcing he was prepared to leave the club he joined in 2004 because it was not aggressive enough in acquiring players, the star England striker said he was persuaded to stay following talks with manager Alex Ferguson and the club's American owners, the Glazer family.

The contract extension makes him the highest-paid player in team history and keeps him at United until June 2015.

"I'm signing a new deal in the absolute belief that the management, coaching staff, board and owners are totally committed to making sure United maintains its proud winning history, which is the reason I joined the club in the first place," Rooney said in a statement.

Not surprisingly, his manager Sir Alex Ferguson is ecstatic to have his mercurial star sticking around.

"They've convinced me this is where I belong," Rooney said. "I said ... the manager's a genius and it's his belief and support that have convinced me to stay. I felt I had to get my point across and we finally came to an agreement."

Ferguson signed Rooney six years ago for then more than $40 million. Rooney helped the club to Premier League titles in 2007, '08 and '09, and played on the team that won the Champions League in 2008. He was England's player of the year last season after scoring 34 goals in all competitions.

"I said to the boy that the door is always open and I'm delighted Wayne has agreed to stay," Ferguson said. "Sometimes, when you're in a club, it can be hard to realize just how big it is and it takes something like the events of the last few days to make you understand.

"I think Wayne now understands what a great club Manchester United is. This is a big day for Manchester United."

I would bet anything that he didn't craft it himself, since he's an idiot, but Rooney's publicist/agent/manager made a fair assessment of what he has to do moving forward.

"I'm sure the fans over the last week have felt let down by what they've read and seen," Rooney said. "But my position was from concern over the future. It's up to me through my performances to win them over again."

Following this whole saga is making my head spin, no more Rooney talk (about off the field bullshit) until further notice.

McPride

If you are between the ages of 20-30, American and you liked soccer at one point, odds are that Brian McBride was one of your favorite players growing up.

That's what makes seeing McBride retire as well so hard to take.

Who could ever forget his clutch goals for the U.S. national team against Portugal and Mexico in 2002 and the elbow he took in the face vs. Italy in 2006?

He also was a mainstay with Fulham and helped them avoid relegation in 2008 after coming back from a bunch of injuries. Fulham fans liked the Yank so much that they named a bar "McBride's" in honor of him at Craven Cottage, their home stadium.

Watching that Mexican match in the middle of the night after I graduated high school, a couple of buddies and I started calling McBride McPride cause he had so much heart.

That sounds pretty lame but it's true and no strikers have ever put the U.S. on the map like McBride.

"I haven't looked at it from that standpoint," McBride said when asked what he wants his legacy to be. "I hope that I've added quality to wherever I've been and also done things in the right way, with class. Hopefully I've been able to pass on a few words of wisdom."

Eddie Lewis & Chris Klein take a bow

As I always say when one of my favorite athlete retires: I am getting old.

The latest to bid adieu to their playing days in the beautiful game are LA Galaxy midfielders Eddie Lewis and Chris Klein (not the American Pie actor), who are done at the end of the MLS season.

Los Angeles is atop the league standings with 17 victories and 56 points. The Galaxy will finish their regular season Sunday against FC Dallas before attempting to win their first MLS Cup since 2005.

The 36-year-old Lewis played for the United States at the World Cup in 2002 and 2006. After starting his MLS career with San Jose from 1996-99, the former UCLA star and Cerritos, Calif., native spent nearly nine years with four different English clubs before joining the Galaxy in August 2008.

"Eddie Lewis is arguably the finest left-sided midfielder in the history of U.S. soccer," said Bruce Arena, Lewis' coach with the Galaxy and on both World Cup teams. "We will miss having him here with us every day, and we thank him for his outstanding contributions to our organization."

Lewis hasn't scored for the Galaxy this season in 12 games, including one start.

This name probably doesn't register with casual fans (but let's be honest if you're reading this, you're a die-hard like us) however Lewis was one of their most underrated players when the U.S. team began to be respected worldwide. He also was a groundbreaker in terms of being an American playing overseas (England).

Klein's 332 regular-season appearances are the fifth-most in MLS history, and he played in a league-record 141 consecutive games. He has scored 49 goals and 69 assists over 13 seasons with Kansas City, Salt Lake and Los Angeles, which acquired him in June 2007.

The 34-year-old Klein has made 22 appearances with the USA, scoring five goals. He has two assists while playing in 10 games for the Galaxy this season, including three starts.

"Chris has established an outstanding legacy in MLS as an All-Star performer, an MLS Cup champion and a key figure in a historical collective bargaining agreement," Arena said. "Through these endeavors, Chris has always exhibited the character and professionalism that he has become synonymous with."

I don't have such distinct memories of Klein with the U.S. team, I associate him more with his MLS career and he's had a fine one in that.

Is this the mug of the next England coach?

Since they are the Chicago Cubs of international soccer (and yes, I coined that), one of the favorite pub games for English national team fans is who will be the next manager.

This revolving door is always spinning since every new face they bring aboard always falls short of unreasonable expectations within the span of a Euro campaign and/or a World Cup.

I give you Carlo Ancelotti, next Three Lions head coach?

Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti has declared his interest in becoming England boss in the future.

Ancelotti's contract at Stamford Bridge expires in 2012 - just as Fabio Capello is set to step down as England manager - and the 51-year-old would consider taking up the post currently occupied by his fellow Italian.

Asked if he fancied the England job, he said: "Why not? I would like to do it in the future, to have this kind of experience.

"I have never been the coach of a national team. To manage the national team and manage a club is different.

"Maybe [Tottenham manager Harry] Redknapp doesn't like foreign coaches for the national team, but if you ask me about England, I can say 'Why not?'''

Ancelotti, who led the Blues to a Premier League and FA Cup double in his first season in England, was linked with the Italy job earlier this year, but stressed at the time that he had no intention of replacing Marcello Lippi after the World Cip.

"I am not interested in the national team," Ancelotti said in March. "I prefer to remain in London at Chelsea and lead the team to a Champions League final."

If you've paid attention at all, you've probably noticed that I'm a Chelsea fan through and through. However, if you think I support this notion of Ancelotti as England head coach, you're nuts.

In most cases, I don't believe that foreign managers can do the best job of coaching national team players. Cultural differences, not to mention language barriers and playing styles all come into effect when you hire someone that isn't of a certain nationality.

Furthermore, Ancelotti is a figurehead at Chelsea and if he actually had to do some real work with the English national team, I think he'd fall flat on his face like his boy Fabio Capello.

Harry Redknapp can often sound like the stereotypical English crank but in this case, I think he's correct. As long as he's not promoting himself as the English head coach, the Tottenham coach is onto something: no more foreigners!

Rooney wants out of Man. U

You've got to hand it to Wayne Rooney, with David Beckham's career quickly washing away in Hollywood (the site of so many failed dreams), the Manchester United striker is really carrying the English newspapers, tabloids and gossip websites.

Like any good star, Rooney's exploits on the field these days are far outweighed by his neverending list of transgressions off the pitch.

After starting Saturday's game vs. West Brom on the bench and failing to help his club recover for a win (they tied 2-2), Rooney wants out of Manchester United (if you believe widespread reports).

It is said that well-placed United sources are suggesting that Rooney is refusing to sign a new contract to stay at Old Trafford and that irreconcilable differences with manager Sir Alex Ferguson are said to be at the root of his desire to leave the club he joined in 2004.

Rooney was a mere substitute, and an ineffective replacement when coming on with just 18 minutes to play of Saturday's 2-2 draw with West Bromwich Albion. That team selection came after Rooney had denied in midweek that he has been suffering the ankle injury that Ferguson had stated was the reason behind his repeated absence from United's line-up.

The 24-year-old is yet to reignite the form that saw him win the PFA Player of the Year award in the 2009-10 season, and has looked rather more akin to the ailing figure of the summer's World Cup finals. He has also been under a heavy media glare after tabloid revelations about his private life were splashed across newspapers in September.

The Daily Mail suggests that Rooney was telling England colleagues before the Euro 2012 qualifier with Montenegro that his time at United is coming to an end, and that Rooney has been unhappy about his non-selection against Fulham, Everton, Sunderland and Valencia.

Ferguson is no stranger to fall-outs with his leading stars, and, with Rooney having just over eighteen months on his contract then it is highly possible that if any such rift continues then he may even be sold in January 2011.

Sunday morning reports planted the seeds of such a schism between Rooney and the club he has repeatedly said he would like to stay at for the rest of his career before an official United statement dismissed the reports as "nonsense".

Where he would end up is another story for another cold English winter night.

Prepare to hate this man (we think), starting tomorrow or something

Not many things drive me to blind hate but anything having to do with the Mexican men's national soccer team makes that very short list.

Tomorrow, the U.S.' most bitter rival will possibly/definitely announce a new coach: Jose Manuel De La Torre.

Victor Manuel Vucetich, the coach of Mexican club Monterrey Rayados and the favorite for the national team job, pulled out of the selection process Saturday for personal reasons.

Like many things in Mexican soccer, however, it's not quite so clear cut.

Mexican club owners who vote for the national team coach must now decide whether to hand the job to De La Torre, considered the second-choice candidate, or opt for more debating while other names are considered.

The national team has suffered a meltdown since losing to Argentina in the second round of the World Cup and the uncertainty surrounding the new coach is hardly the ideal way to start over.

The defeat to Argentina in South Africa was followed by the resignation of Javier Aguirre, with two interim coaches -- Enrique Meza and Efrain Flores -- taking the reins.

A group of 11 players, including World Cup captain Rafael Marquez, then threatened to go on strike in protest at national team director Nestor De La Torre's decision to fine them for holding an all-night party in Monterrey following a friendly match with Colombia in September.

Two players -- Carlos Vela of Arsenal and Efrain Juarez of Celtic -- were suspended for six months after the same incident. The players eventually turned up for a friendly with Venezuela in October, but Nestor De La Torre resigned from his post hours before the game.

The team has only won once in its last four exhibition matches.

As if that storyline wasn't juicy enough, there is a nice subplot of nepotism since De La Torre seemingly isn't getting this job just based solely on his own merits.

In a curious twist, Jose Manuel De La Torre -- coach of Mexican club Toluca and Nestor's brother -- now seems the only viable option to rebuild El Tri's fortunes after Vucetich withdrew.

"Let's wait until the federation itself makes it official, but thank God I'm calm," said Jose De La Torre. "I didn't know what was going on with him."

Before pulling out, the experienced Vucetich -- known as "King Midas" for his success in the Mexican domestic league -- was considered the preferred choice.

"The family aspect is not an issue that changes overnight and I've always said I work for the family," Vucetich said. "You are required to spend a long time with the national team and that would be complicated for me.

"I'm conscious that it was a great opportunity, but I don't want to wake up tomorrow and regret anything where my children are concerned ... there are more important things for me and my priority right now is them and that's why I took this decision."

If De La Torre is picked, the national job will cap a rapid rise through the coaching ranks.

De La Torre started his career as head coach in the 2006 Clausura tournament and already has three national titles to his name, building his Toluca side into arguably the most consistent performer in the Mexican league in recent years.

"The directors will decide the timetable, let's wait and see what happens and that's all, we're all waiting," De La Torre said. "I feel ready, if I didn't, I would have dropped out."

This whole strange saga South of the border makes Bob Bradley's situation look much more bland in comparison and that's a good thing.

DeMerit in the MLS? Sure, why not?

Besides having one of the most inspiring stories (that is ripe for a Disney movie) of any international player that I know of, U.S. men's national team defender Jay DeMerit can still play (as evidenced in the 2010 World Cup when he played every minute for the U.S.).

However, he is currently unemployed after his contract at Watford ended in May and he's contemplating a final tour in MLS.

Various reports had linked DeMerit with English Premier League side Everton, as well as Wolfsburg of the German Bundesliga.

But given the tepid state of the player market in Europe, DeMerit indicated via e-mail that signing with MLS is now his preferred option.

"Since playing back in the U.S. was always something I wanted to do, and have yet to do, it seems like the time is right," he said.

Without delving into specifics, DeMerit indicated that several MLS sides have shown interest. Earlier reports had expansion side Vancouver chasing the U.S. defender, and given that the Whitecaps occupy the top spot in the league's allocation rankings for U.S. international players, they would appear to have the inside track.

It is by no means a certainty that he'll end up in British Columbia. Should DeMerit prefer to play elsewhere, Vancouver could always trade the top spot in exchange for draft picks or players.

DeMerit spent the early portion of his career with the Chicago Fire's entry in the USL Premier Development League, which comprises the fourth tier of U.S. soccer, and a return to the Midwest would appear to suit the Green Bay, Wisc., native. A Fire spokesman denied that the team was pursuing DeMerit, however. DeMerit also didn't completely rule out the possibility of staying in Europe.

"Until I sign a contract with any club, of course I'm open to anything," he said. "But my main focus at the moment is coming back to the MLS. I know things can always change in a second in this sport."

He is one of my favorite U.S. players in recent memory based on his toughness and fearless style so I would be psyched to see him play for the New England Revolution and to a lesser degree another MLS franchise (Vancouver or Chicago both make perfect sense).